Black was fun.
The music is great
the place happening
the crowd overwhelming
the queue disgusting

Cant rem the last time i felt so good>?
Only 10 hours of sleep in 3 days
but i'm still up and about
surprisingly. . .

Thursday night, met james for drinks. Then he bunked over my place, so i slept at 5. Woke up for sentosa at 8. Swam etc then went back old sch to fill applications. Bumped into a familiar someone. . . then lazed at home watched Singapore Idol. Then coincidentally later at night Saw singapore idol Daphne Khoo in town, went up and made some small talk but she was in a rush . . so it was brief. But i'm behind her all the way! way to go girl! =0) Lo and behold who do i grease across at cine, kevin yeo and gf. So caught 'winbledon' together. slept at 5 again.

Sat was packed. Went wakeboarding could hardly drag myself outta bed. But it was fun la. damn $45 bucks flew outta pocket too. #$#$%%^^&*()*&^%$@#! After that Salsa class! and if that is not enough its black after that. Til now. . . wait its 6 in the morning. damn it. Eyelids giving way. . . gottta go. So much to do. . . so much to say

Strange occurances have been happening. Too frequently for my liking. Too many nestled up emotioned, locked skeletons i have in my cupboard i that i cannot deny the existance of. . . Life and its many ironies.

Suppose to say, i could go back to the past i'd change everything. go back to the start. . .

Although i sit here now dazed and clearly fazed by the overwhelming feelins i'm going through, i ask myself again: why do i feel this? even now?

Tired, over-worked, underpaid, and suppose to be up in another 3 hours, i question my ability to go on, to be myself, to love. . . If Life is a road, it's a damn LONG road.

Where was that confidence? that arrogance that i was so infamous for but showed character of steel, wit and charm that swept girls off their feet? I stand 'naked' in the eye of the beholder.

As i sit, i fall into unconsciousness. To the lands where they take me. Places where they can unlock my memories and play with me mind. . .

Why is it all a dream? a fallacy? some forgetten past? or a sad story with no ending? Or like my nick always inplies that it'll all come to naught: lost_tale. . .

At 20 you see life with a magnifying glass. Everything can be picked on WILL be picked on. Anything said, unsaid will be used against/for you. The world of uncertainty. What good is a man who speaks but do not listen? Or vice-versa?

I read old love letters (sec sch) and then i wonder to myself, the maturing of the human soul is affected not by time but by experiences is it not? Those days are past, with ignorance and naivety, love is innocent and pure, life without stress and worries, world still revolves around its axis as you know it. I guess it's too late to make any amendments to change the way things are now, but the memories give me faith in knowing that the unknown is a matter of discovering an adventure for yourself. Being forth the kingdom, know that i will honour you always . . .princess secret, childhood friend of knight Mickey. -

"Who you are today is the sum of all your experiences" - and take this with you to your grave.

It's strange as i sit behind a computer again to 'pen down' my thoughts.
'love' what is love?
a friend put her thoughts in her blog ( sorry i dont know how to link it... to lazy to find out) and this aspiring lawyer-to-be did put some screws into place.
'life' what is life?
to be empowered by one's actions, to be responsible for every step of the way, to lead fulfilment and make each minute worth. Living the Beat.
'Change' what is change?
Change is something having undergone will bring a fuller perspective to life. The on-going process of bettering oneself to form a firm belief.
'Friends' who are they?
They are the pillars of strength, stepping stones when you need a lift, believers when you need faith, there becos they are friends.
'Money' and what is means?
The international language that says 'i LOVE you', ' i can CHANGE your LIFE','I can be your FRIEND'. so what the heck is money really about? It is the motivator and punisher of all men. It can bring you to the top but at the same time can wash you out like a wave to to the shore.

Don't you get that adrenaline rush when you see a stash of cash in your hands? Or that uncontrollable smile when you see your account turnin from that red zone to green? Or some zangy sports car thrusting past you. . . and you get to feel its second wind? Doesn't life seem more fun? exuberant? ( when you are actually in the damn car!)

The power of change. I will make this belief, that one day ALL will be mine. And my deinfition will change and til then i will share with you again what makes a man.
- my beliefs